Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Home of the Baby

Michael Yeater, Austin Walker, Christina Richmond, Josh Orth, Jaclyn Cahill, Doug Brickner, and Brian Hogan. I idolize all of you. You are all my heroes. Who are they? Only the greatest people alive!

Let me explain.

At 9:31 PM last night Michael Yeater posted this on my Facebook wall, "Just heard the news!! Ur gonna be a great dad!! Congrats man." A very funny joke that has been used before by him on Facebook. Little did I know what was going to come next. Here is a timeline of what went down on my Facebook page last night.

9:31 PM: Mike makes a joke on my wall.

9:37 PM: Austin Walker - "CONGRATS STEVE!!! your gunna be an awsome dad!!!"

9:49 PM: Christina Richmond - "Congrats Steve!!"

9:56 PM: Josh Orth - "Awww steve congats!!!! If u need anything let's us know!! Happy fatherhood"

9:57 PM: By now I am laughing uncontrollably.

10:00 PM: Jaclyn Cahill - "omg christina just told me!! congrats!!! youre gunna be an amazing dad!!"

10:10 PM: I can not believe what is happening on my Facebook.

10:15 PM: Doug Brickner - "Way to go steve whatcha gon name it?"

10:15 PM: Austin Walker - "so im thinking austin if its a boy or austina if its a girl..."

10:25 PM: I decide his name will be James Earl Jennings and that he is going to have an amazing voice.

11:00 PM: I have now spent the last hour and a half laughing without stopping.

11:03 PM: Brian Hogan - "congrats steve. do you know when its due? let me know"

11:38 PM: Michael Yeater - "guys quit being rude let him and the lucky gal decide on the name...this is a life changing experience...good for you man ....if you ever need a babysitter lemme no"

12:36 AM: After multiple comments on those posts you have seen I chime in. Me - "Can't decide if his favorite band is gonna be Boyz II Men or K-Ci & JoJo.. Suggestions?"

12:37 AM: Austin Walker - "Ace of Base." Me - "perfect."

12:41 AM: Michael posts a video of a baby laughing on my wall. Icing on the cake.


Here's the kicker. I am not having a baby and I am not becoming a father. A funny joke that made me laugh to myself turned into a huge joke that had me laughing for a solid three hours. You then add in the event that Austin Walker and I participated in outside of facebook. Here's a quick explanation of that.

Austin informs me that I will be taking over a fantasy baseball team in his league. Apparently someone was complaining too much so they kicked him out. I don't know the whole story. So the first thing I do is write on the message board introducing myself to the league. Then some guy, we'll call him Little Nicky, starts complaining about who knows what. Instead of making us mad, Austin and I decided to be post the most smart ass comments on the message board just to see how mad Little Nicky can get. He tells us to meet at his place so he can gives us bruises. I respond, "Will there be nachos? Because if not, that's kind of a deal breaker." Little Nicky doesn't like this very much and continues to post things trying to make us mad. Not gonna happen buddy. Austin and I are in agreement that getting made and talking crap on a fantasy baseball message board is a little dumb. So as he continues to say stuff trying to either make us mad or get us out of the league we are having fun with him. We made some jokes that he did not find funny. So Austin, thank you for getting me into the league, even if I do get kicked out before the season even starts. It was a lot of fun while it lasted.

Last night was quite possibly the funniest night I have ever had. Thank you everyone involved. You are truly awesome people. Don't ever stop being so awesome. That is all. Goodbye.


Random Song of the Day:

"Dashboard" by Modest Mouse

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Home of the Tripping Billies

This post comes per request of some guy named Brett Carter. You see, I'm like a blog DJ, if you request a post I will write it. If you are asking yourself who Brett Carter is, that's a good question. I don't know him, I have never actually met him, and he may or may not be joining my family in the next year.

So what is this post about you ask? Well judging by the title and using common reasoning it appears to be a post about Dave Matthews Band. It is exactly that. Sort of. I'm not going to sit here and write about Dave Matthews Band. Instead I will write about my change of attitude about the band.

Where do we start? Oh yea, I hate Dave Matthews Band. His songs are annoying and I will never be a fan the band. From the first time I heard "Ants Marching" I have hated his annoying voice. I will never have any of their music on my iTunes, ever. It's just not my kind of music.

That's what I thought a year ago. Last year I had big plans for the 4th of July weekend. I was going to go to Des Moines and go see one of my favorite bands Modest Mouse. I was very excited for this. That Thursday I learn that it was supposed to rain hard in Des Moines. There goes those plans. Now what will I do with my weekend? I get an invite from a friend of mine, we'll call him Josh, to go camping in Wisconsin and see Dave Matthews Band. I jump at the opportunity to go camping and hang out with people. I couldn't care less about seeing Dave Matthews Band. I knew maybe three songs and I was not a fan of the band at all.

The first day/night of camping was great fun. A lot bags playing, sausage eating, fire burning, and of course, drinks flowing. However I still wasn't sure about the concert the next night. How much fun am I, someone who knows essentially nothing about the band, going to have at this Dave Matthews Band concert? But I stop questioning it and take another sip of my drink as I swat away bugs trying to get my blood.

We wake up the next morning, the day of the concert. We start drinking right away, and by "we" I mean not me. I sat in the car sipping a beer trying to recover not from a hangover but the 6 hours of sleep I got in two night combined. I soon come around and we start playing more bags and eating more sausages. We hang out at the campsite for most of the day. We then get in the car and start driving to the concert, I'm wondering why I am going, I don't even like the band. We get to the site of the concert and begin tailgating. I grow tired of drinking nothing but beer for two days straight. I tell Josh to get me a drink that isn't beer. He comes back with a Whiskey and Coke. I have never had this drink and until then I had a firm no hard alcohol policy. I took a sip. I took another sip. I took a drink, and another, and another. This is delicious. Since then whiskey/coke has been my drink of choice.

It's now time for the concert. Zac Brown Band is opening as we walk in. I hate country music so I pay little attention to them. All these drinks have caught up to me by now and I really have to go to the bathroom. The bathroom is packed. As I stand in line something completely unexpected happens. The crowd in the restroom start singing "Chelsea Dagger" by The Fratellis, better known as the song played every time the Chicago Blackhawks score a goal. This is followed by a stirring bathroom rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner", better known as the National Anthem of the United States of America. This is by far the greatest bathroom break I have ever had.

I walk back out and it's now time for Dave Matthews Band to come on. They play a bunch of songs I had never heard before. They played the three songs I did know. But most importantly they completely changed my mind. I went from not being fan to completely loving the band. After the concert I decided I needed to see them again after I listened to more of their songs. That concert was on July 4th. I saw them again on September 17th at a little known place in Chicago called Wrigley Field. More than likely the best concert I have ever been to. That weekend was also very fun. I enjoyed two things I hated just a month and a half earlier, Dave Matthews Band and whiskey/coke. Now I have a bunch of their songs on my iPod and I even have one of their albums on vinyl.

It's amazing what seeing a band live can do to your perception of said band. I went from not liking them to loving them in the matter of one concert. That's all for me today. I hope you enjoyed. Also, if your name is Brett Carter, you're welcome. If your name is not Brett Carter, thank you. Goodbye.


What I'm Listening To:

"Everyday" by Dave Matthews Band

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Home of the Fans

Football is by far my favorite sport and it has been for many, many years. However the NFL is making it difficult to be a fan of the league. The collective bargaining agreement(CBA) controversy is a joke. You have one side who has billions of dollars fighting with the other side who has billions of dollars and they both want more money. They have played it all out in public and it has not been pretty. They are going back and forth through the media. They are changing rules that don't need to be changed. The owners might force a lockout and that means no football at all next year. It's one giant public slap in the face to the people that mean more to the NFL than the players or the owner, the fans. Without fans their is no NFL. All the fans want is to watch their favorite teams play. We don't care what it takes. We want to watch our favorite players run back kick-offs. We want to see our favorite teams win games even if they get a little lucky from time to time. We want to have our fantasy football leagues. Basically the NFL and the NFLPA need to get over themselves and focus on what is most important, giving the fans exactly what they want. This sport makes more money than any other sport in America, there aren't supposed to be issues like this.

That's enough of the negative. I had to get that off my chest because it bothers me to no end. Let's get some Derrick Rose to lighten the mood:


That's better. If that man doesn't win MVP this season I will never watch another NBA game again in my life. That's a promise. He's just "Too big, too strong, too fast, and too good."

A Couple Things Before I Go:

-I didn't watch it but apparently Ralph Macchio is a force on "Dancing With The Stars" and why wouldn't he be?

-Did you know that Michael Jordan went 22-22 with 44 points in the game against the Monstars in "Space Jam"?

-Happy 80th Birthday to William Shatner.


Random Song of the Day:
Today's random iTunes song is...

"Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Home of the Mad Marchness

I spent the majority of today trying to watch college basketball. However my brain was making it very hard for to do so. I don't know what it is about college basketball but I just don't care. I really don't care about college sports in general. But especially college basketball. It's boring, sloppy, and the least bit riveting. I am completely amazed at how many people actually love this sport. I'm not sure if people actually like college basketball or if they just like filling out brackets and betting on games. That actually makes sense to me. But I am entirely confused by those people who watch it just because they simply like watching it. That makes no sense to me. I just don't nor have I ever understood the intrigue of watching college basketball. Why would I waste part of my day watching basketball players shoot lay-ups?

This brings me to my next point. The people who say they like watching it because it's fundamental basketball. That is just completely false. Someone who says they love watching fundamental basketball is lying. Why do you think nobody watches the WNBA? It's because people want to see dunks and not lay-ups. Dunks are exciting, lay-ups are boring.

I'm not saying that the NBA is so exciting either. Quite frankly if the Bulls aren't playing I will more than likely not be watching. Basketball in and of itself is a boring sport. Exciting things rarely ever happen in the sport of basketball. It's a sport where the object is to throw a ball through a hoop and if you touch an opposing player it's a foul. I'm sorry, that's not going to keep my eyes glued to the television. I'd much rather watch a sport like football or hockey then watch basketball. Especially college basketball.

I know I'm probably going to get crucified for what I just wrote but I don't care. My views and opinions on college basketball are not going to make millions of people stop watching and filling out brackets. I'm OK with that. To me college basketball is like Pearl Jam. I understand the appeal and I won't take that away from anyone but I'm also not going to stand in line for it. That is all. Goodbye.


Random Song of the Day:
Today's random iTunes song of the day is....


"Blue Ridge Mountains" by Fleet Foxes


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Home of the Herm's Herms

After a very fun weekend I took a day off. We're gonna go ahead and call it rest. This last weekend was filled with surprises, fun, excitement, and a little game called in between the sheets(not what you think). So let's not waste any time and get to the recap of last weekend.

Thursday: Like all good weekends this one started on a Thursday night. I was sitting on the couch watching "Idol" when I get a text from my sister. I open it to read the good news. She had just gotten engaged. So I feel I should take a minute to stop and say congratulations to my sister Amanda and her now fiancee Brett. Congratulations Amanda and Brett!


Friday: The family assembles. Thomas and Tommy(no relation) from DuBuque, Eric from work, Stacey and Joe from Des Moines, and me from my bedroom. We hop in a car and head for Oswego where the previously mentioned Amanda and Brett live. We get there around 10:15 PM and waste little time getting settled before the drinks start flowing. Then the iPods come out and music starts playing. Next thing I know I'm handed a shot of vodka, I hate vodka. I decide to take it in celebration of my sister's engagement. I cringe inside and out for about two minutes before I finally get my mind right. About an hour and a half later I am handed yet another shot of vodka. I cringe at the site and smell of it. I say to myself that their is no way I am going to take this shot, not a chance. I take the shot of glorified motor oil and immediately regret the decision to do so. This one hit a lot worse than the first. My sister sees my distaste over the vodka and decides to make me a bloody mary. I had never had a bloody mary before and I knew that if it contained vodka I would hate it. So I drank the bloody mary and to my surprise it was actually quite good.

Next thing I know someone has a deck of cards. Joe introduces us to game called "in between the sheets." So like all card games we all get our money out. After about ten turns of not getting anything good to work with I hit a hot streak. I win my money back plus more. I am in a very good mood at the time. We switch to poker, I think about going to bed but decide to stick it out and play for a little bit. All the money I had won from in between the sheets I quickly lost in poker. It's 4 AM, time for bed.


Saturday: Wake up and somehow avoided a hangover. My body is awesome. East breakfast and relax all day. At about 4 my parents show up along with Cloie and at the same time as Ellen. We chat for a little bit before it's time to leave. We went to a pizza place. Good pizza, good people, good times. But that's only the tip of the good times iceberg.

We leave the pizza place and head to downtown Joliet. It's time for Herman's Hermits, or as the cool kids call them, Herm's Herms. I must say, I love Herm's Herms but I did not expect them to be as good as they were. They were funny, played really good music, and made it a good time for everyone in attendance. Could life get better, I submit that can not. To quote my little sister Cloie, "It was thrilling, entertaining, and I've never yelled so loud in my life." But that was only the start of a great night for the youngest Jennings. Once we get back to the house we all had a big surprise in store for her. We all wore different items associated with movie characters and told her that for her birthday she was going to Disney World. Her reaction was exactly like those you would see on the commercials.

After that we all just relaxed and went to bed. But the weekend was a success. It was good to see all the family that I don't get to see a lot. I also want to give a nice round of applause to Amanda and Brett for being such awesome hosts.

I want to thank you for reading this. Please be sure to bring your eyes back tomorrow to see more letters and words form sentences. Have a great day. Goodbye.


What I'm Listening To:

"I'm Henry VIII, I Am" by Herman's Hermits

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Home of the Updates

A lot happens with different stories. A lot happens to or about stories that I write about after the fact. So today I've decided to write updates on stories I have written about, starting with the latest. This will be a short post today because I have things to do. That's actually a lie, I have nothing to do I just don't want to write a big long post today. So let's get started.


Charlie Sheen- This story may never end. It keeps getting more and more piled on top of it. Sheen was fired from "Two and a Half Men" and is now suing Warner Bros. Television and show creator Chuck Lorre for an astounding $100 million... Winning!

Chicago Bulls- Well let's see what has happened since I last wrote about them. They moved up to second place in the East, they continue to beat very good teams, they made the Miami Heat cry, and oh yeah, Derrick Rose gets an MVP endorsement from the one and the only Michael Jordan. No big deal.

Worst Songs of the 90's- Some songs I unintentionally left off the list: "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something, "Barbie Girl" by Aqua, "Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65, "Steal My Sunshine" by Len, and "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground.

That's it for today. I told you I would keep it short. Now I gotta go do somethings I don't gotta do. Have a good rest of your day and goodbye.


Random Song of the Day:
Once again, I am going to my iTunes Library, hitting shuffle, and playing whatever song comes up first.

Todays random song of the day is.....

"Lifetime Lover" by J. Boog. I heard this song when I was in Hawaii and it might just be the best thing I brought back with me.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Home of the Trolls

Holy Charlie Sheen! The man's life has completely spiralled out of control in a matter of weeks. He went from being a good actor on a good show to being a complete head case with a web show. That's right, he has started his own web show. Because the obvious thing to do when your losing your mind is to broadcast the entire debacle on the internet. In his most recent episode he called a phone "a piece of plastic designed by trolls covered in lights and buttons, obviously a weapon but I will turn it against them."

I almost feel bad for the guy. How can someone who is directly related to Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez be so messed up? He has reached a level of insanity that even Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn would be envious of. He even got a tattoo on his wrist that says "winning". If he's winning I'd hate to see what losing looks like.

Then I read today that he is in talks with billionaire Mark Cuban to start a new television show on the Cuban-owned HDNet. So let me get this straight. The craziest actor in Hollywood is going to be teaming up with the craziest owner in sports. And everyone's okay with that? I'll say one thing, that should be very interesting. And by interesting I mean awful.

A word to Charlie Sheen, I really hope you get better and get back to making semi-funny television. If not, could you please send a few of those goddesses from Neptune my way. I'd really appreciate that. Thank you and goodbye.


And now for a completely unrelated sidenote...

Miami Heat, quit your crying. It's basketball.

...This has been a completely unrelated sidenote.


That's all for a Monday. I may not be back tomorrow due to the release of MLB The Show 11, but I will be back soon.


Random Song of the Day:
Instead of posting the song that I am listening to at the time of the post I will change it up. I will be going to my iTunes library, hitting shuffle, and posting whatever random song comes up first. I must warn you that this could be just about anything. I have close to two thousand songs on my iTunes so I have no idea what might come up .This should be interesting.

Today's random song is...

"Don't You(Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds. And how fitting. I mention Emilio Estevez in the post and the song from "The Breakfast Club" comes up.




Goodbye.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Home of the Writer's Block

I really wanted to post today, but I can't think of anything to write about. I have writer's block. I know their's so many things I could write about. I just can't think. In a way I have already found something to write about by writing about my writer's block. So by not having anything to write about I have actually found something to write about. This might be my most intellectual post yet. I think I just wrinkled my brain.

It's crazy how writer's block works. I've never actually had it until now so I never knew what it would be like exactly. It's actually quite intense. I have so many thoughts and ideas in my head that I can't land on one. I could write about all of them but that would be the biggest cluster of a post ever. I could choose one thing but then there wouldn't be anything substantial. This must be what Dane Cook goes through every time he has to write for a Comedy Central special that was blindly handed to him. I always thought writer's block was just the product of lack of creativity. Now I know the truth. Sometimes you can be so creative and so thoughtful that you can't choose what to write about. Then again, maybe I am creative because I just turned my having nothing to write about into an entire post about how I have nothing to write about. Once again, brain wrinkled. You never saw Mark Twain writing about his inabillity to come up with something to write about. Land of the Steve - 1, Mark Twain - 0.

Writer's block is always a tricky thing to deal with. Every English teacher I have ever had has said that if you encounter writer's block you should clear your mind and just started writing about the first thing you think of. It's the getting started that's the head part. But once you get started you get on a roll and can't stop. Well this post is the product of that strategy. Really worked out well huh? Cause when I have writer's block all I think about is that I have nothing to write about. So this is what you get.

For those of you reading this thinking "what the hell?" You are not alone. I am just as confused as you are, and I'm the one writing this. So for your benefit and mine I think I will end this paradox of a post right here. I want to thank your eyes for reading this. Have a good day. Goodbye.


What I'm Listening To:
"The Gardener" by The Tallest Man On Earth


Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Home of the Bulls

If you don't know by now I am a big sports fan. If you didn't know that, where have you been? Of course if you know I'm a sports fan then you must know I'm a fan of every Chicago team. Yes, I like the Cubs and the White Sox, crucify me. I think Chicago fans have overlooked the fact that the city has been graced with two baseball teams. That means every year the city of Chicago has two chances of winning the World Series. I am not going to pass up those odds and wait until the Cubs win it all. That just seems unreasonable. But I digress. The sport I'm talking about today is basketball and the Chicago Bulls. For the first time since the almighty number 23 retired the Bulls have put together a team that is great. The Bulls have managed to somehow make the playoffs a handful of times in the last several years, but this year is different. This year they actually have a legitimate shot at going very, very far.

I remember the day clearly. It was July 26, 2008. A beautiful day in Hawaii, like always. I'm in my hotel room getting dressed. The television tuned to ESPN. The NBA Draft, Bulls had remarkable won the first overall pick in the Draft Lottery. Two great things happened that day. My sister got married and the Chicago Bulls drafted Derrick Rose.

Fast forward two and a half years, Derrick Rose is the leading contender for the MVP award. The Bulls have one of the best records in the league. Also at the top of the Eastern Conference are the Boston Celtics, who continue to win despite getting older and older every year. The Miami Heat, who made big headlines by becoming the only three player team in the league. And the Orlando Magic, who have good depth but are falling fast. Another team that now could be a threat in the East are the New York Knicks, who have jumped back into rellevancy with by teaming up Amare Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony.

With just a little over a month to go in the season things are starting to get interesting. I said before the season started that the Bulls would need another year and a couple more players before they become true contenders. I am here to say with great pride that I was wrong. Turns out all they really needed to do was sign half of the Utah Jazz and they'd be on their way to great things. Their biggest off-season acquisition was Carlos Boozer who missed the first month of the season. Their center Joakim Noah missed a good amount of games as well. If those two were healthy the entire year the Bulls could have the best record in the East and possibly even the best record in the league.

Derrick Rose(I just can't shut up about this guy) is the best thing to happen to the Bulls since Jordan made that shot against Utah. I am not saying he's as good as Jordan or will ever be as good as Jordan because that'd be outlandish. What I will say is that Derrick Rose means as much to the Bulls now as Jordan did in the 90's, or atleast as much as Pippen. Without Derrick Rose this team is still a team that barely makes into the playoffs every year with an average record. With Derrick Rose this team has become a force. They are not getting much attention right now, but I think I like it that way. Let the media focus on the Heat and the Celtics and blow everything about them out of proportion. The Bulls will be there, flying under the radar and into the playoffs, as a great team. I look forward to what this team can potentially do in the coming years. I am a Chicago fan, and for the first time since MJ I can say with great pride that I am a basketball fan again.


What I'm Listening To:
"Chicago" by Sufjan Stevens




Goodbye.