Home of the Oscars

This year's Oscars was a success. If you like to take three hour naps. That was incredibly boring and I can't believe I wasted my night watching that. "The King's Speech" won for Best Picture. An award that should have gone to either "The Fighter" or "The Social Network". If they want to appeal to younger audiences they should stop giving the biggest awards to movies that young people have never seen. They tried to appeal to younger audiences by having young-ish hosts. That was a terrible mistake. Not that they shouldn't try to get younger viewers, but that they should maybe choose some better hosts than James Franco and Anne Hathaway. As I was watching I couldn't help but think of a handful of people that would have been much better choices than those two. So that's what I'll write about today. Here are ten people who should host the Oscars:


Steve Martin- I know he doesn't really get the younger audience but he has one thing you can't teach and don't have to force like they did with those two last night, he's funny. He is a true comic genius who has done the Oscars before and has done a very good job as well.

Steve Carrell- How has this guy never hosted an awards show? He already appeals to the young with his role as Michael Scott in "The Office" so you'd think it'd make sense to have him host the Oscars. He is far and away one of the funniest guys in the world.

Stephen Colbert- Pretty much anyone named Steve/Stephen should host the Oscars. They tried having Jon Stewart host it a few years back and that didn't turn out so well. But maybe they got the wrong Comedy Central personality. Colbert is perfect with his "in-your-face" style of comedy. If the Oscars want a host who can bring in a huge audience this is their guy. He already has an entire "nation" of fans that would be sure to watch if he was hosting.

Tina Fey- I know she's an obvious choice but sometimes the thing that is most obvious is the best thing. As a bonus they could have her team up with Amy Poehler because they work perfectly together.

Jon Favreau- I think people underestimate how truly funny this man really is. Vince Vaughn would not be the actor he is now if it wasn't for Favreau. He has a very sarcastic form of comedy that would be great for the Oscars.

Robert Downey Jr.- Talk about sarcastic comedy. This man has it. Every time I see him either accept or present an award I think to myself, "why isn't this man hosting the damn thing?"

Kirk Douglas- I don't care if the guy is 95 years old, when he was presenting last night it was the funniest part of the entire three hours. You know, I would watch if he hosted.

Jimmy Fallon- Although he should be the host of the Emmys for many years to come. But if he isn't chosen for it this year he would be perfect for the Oscars. He already get's many young viewers on "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" and he has a very good stage presence.

Conan O'Brien- Why not? He's at the height of his popularity after the whole "Tonight Show" debacle. As a bonus he could have Andy Richter with him as a co-host seeing as how they are the male version of Tina Fey/Amy Poehler.

Jim Gaffigan- This is kind of a joke pick on my part. However at the same time I think he'd be a great host. He is a very funny stand-up comedian who doesn't get as much attention as he should. Could you imagine him bringing his Hot Pockets and bacon jokes to the Oscars? I can, and I love it.

Now I want to hear from you the reader. Who would be your pick for ultimate Oscars host? You've seen mine, now I want to know yours. That's all for me. I'll be back tomorrow with more writings and such. Until then, goodbye.


What I'm Listening To:
For those of you reading this and thinking to yourself, "who's Jim Gaffigan?" This is Jim Gaffigan. You're welcome.

Home of the Worst

I've deicded that from time to time I will be doing a top ten list, with a twist. Instead of doing the generic "Best of" thing, I will be compiling a worst of list. Today's worst of is one I have thought of since before I ever had a blog. I've been thinking of this list since before the internet became a huge thing. So today I bring you my list of the worst songs from the 90's. I am also not ashamed to admit that atleast three of these are guilty pleasures of mine. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the awful.


10. "Waiting for Tonight" by Jennifer Lopez:

We kick off the list with the "American Idol" judge coming in at number ten. Honestly I could've listed any song of hers and it would've fit perfectly. But we'll go with the one that sums them all up.

9. "All I Want" by Toad The Wet Sprocket:

This song is so cheesy it's bordering on boy band. Combine that with a band name that makes no sense and you've got yourself a terrible song.

8. "I Love You Always Forever" by Donna Lewis:

This song just about sums up the 90's. This and number six on the list. This was on every 13 year olds girl's mixtape in the 90's and for that it earns a spot on our list.

7. "C'est La Vie" by B*Witched:

I cannot hear this song or see this video without laughing and that is not a good thing. This is a fantastically awful song. Gotta love it when they bust into an Irish jig out of nowhere.

6. "Stay(I Missed You)" by Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories:

I almost feel bad for putting this song on the list. The 90's just wouldn't have been the same without this song, but that doesn't make it less awful.

5. "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus:

No list about songs from the 90's is complete without this gem. Lucky for us this man had a daughter who grew up to make terrible music of her own that will be on lists like this for years to come.

4. "MMMBop" by Hanson:

If you are wondering what happened to these guys, stop, I will tell you. They grew up, lost their collective voice and stopped making awful music. You should be glad that they are gone. You can never go wrong with lyrics like "plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose. You can plant any one of those."

3. "Summer Girls" by LFO:

This songs amazingly ridiculous lyrics land it on the list at number three. I still love the lyric, "You're the best girl that I ever did see, the great Larry Bird jersey thirty-three." They then continue to tell us who starred in various movies. Well done guys. R.I.P. Rich Cronin.

2. "I Do(Cherish You)" by 98 Degrees:

Of all the boy bands I could have chosen from I had to go with the worst. That being 98 Degrees. Nick Lachey is, you know what, he's too easy of a target. I just can't wait until I use this as my wedding song.

1. "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex:

Step one: Form a Swedish band. Step two: dub yourself a techno/folk/bluegrass band. Step three: Call yourself rednecks but spell wrong on purpose for no apparent reason. Step four: Write song called "Cotton Eye Joe" with incoherent lyrics. Congratulations, you have just created the worst song of an entire decade. Do they even have rednecks in sweden?

There you have it, folks. The worst songs of the 1990's. Please feel free to comment. What did I miss? What is your worst song of the 90's?

What I'm Listening to:

"Fables" by The Dodos

Goodbye.

Home of the Viruses

Computer:
I loath the person or persons who spend their free time creating computer viruses. If it's created to steal my information and potentially my identity then you are the second lowest kind of scum out there. The lowest? That would be the person(s) that create a computer virus simply to inconvenience another human being. Forget about finding Osama Bin Liden. Spend more time finding the F-words that are creating these computer viruses. What kind of person creates a problem just to make someone else's life difficult? It's starting to get outrageous and should be penalized by tar and feathering. I am writing about this today because my laptop has been attacked with yet another virus. That makes three viruses since November. Now I am forced to use the home computer. First of all, this thing belongs in a museum it's so out of date. Second, it's right off the living room(which I will explain more about shortly). Third, I lose the privacy of room. No more listening to music at whatever volume I choose. No more watching TV while being on the computer, which may seem small but thats what my nights consist of anymore. I'm tired of these internet terrorists and they need to be stopped. Moving on.

People:
Don't be confused, I'm not saying that people are viruses although I can say for certain that some of them are. I am talking about viruses within people. Their is a virus of some sort going around my house right now. My parents were both sick yesterday and my sister was sick a few days ago. As you may know from my previous posts, I take great pride in my immune system and how badass it is. However, I am not about to test it. Usually when their is a sickness going around my house I quarantine myself in my bedroom. I normally have everything I need to survive the few days that the illness is in effect. I have my TV, movies, record player, snacks, and computer. Except now I don't have my computer and I am stuck writing this in the room that is right off the room where my parents spend their entire lives. I chose a bad day to stop smoking entirely. I am having a rough day and I could really use a cigarette, but I know that if I can make it through today I will never need another cigarette ever again.


What I'm Listening To:

"One October Song" by Nico Stai

Goodbye.

Home of the Anniversary

Today marks my grandparents' 57th anniversary. That's 57 years of being married. I'll say it one more time, 57 years! That is an unreal amount of time. I hope I'm still alive in 57 years. They've been married that long. It's a huge accomplishment that is rarely seen in today's world. To celebrate the occasion we went to dinner last night with my cousin, uncle, aunt, and my Aunt Patty, who only get's her name mentioned because she specifically asked that I mention her. When asked if they'll make it to 58 years my grandpa responded, "I don't even know if we'll make it past tomorrow." It's love like that that keeps you going 57 years strong. So to my Grandma and Grandpa, congrats!


The Grammys
Last night was the Grammy Awards. The show was awesome. At the same it was terrible. Some of the performances were great, others left a little to be desired. Mumford & Sons were great as always. The Avett Brothers were very good. Bob Dylan needs to understand that although he was great in the 60s, he is not great in 2011. I'm tired of people insisting that Lady Gaga is good. I think I'd rather listen to a mash-up of car wrecks then listen to Lady Gaga. Another thing, who is Esparanza Spalding and how is she better than Mumford & Sons?

To the thing that nobody saw coming, not even me. I am talking about the Album of the Year award. I thought for sure that Eminem was going to win. I was happy that Arcade Fire was nominated but I knew they no shot of winning it. Atleast I thought I knew. That was until Barbra Streisand announced in her own confusion that the winner was "The Suburbs" by Arcade Fire. I was in complete shock. Aracde Fire is one of my favorite bands but I never thought they'd win the Album of the Year Grammy. It's about time some real talented musicians get the recognition that they have deserved for so long. I am sure that there are a lot of people who have no idea who Arcade Fire is and had never heard them before last night. If you fall into that group of people I would highly suggest you educate yourself with some Arcade Fire.

That's all today. I hope you guys all have a great Valentine's Day. I'll be back tomorrow. Goodbye.


What I'm Listening To:

"The Suburbs" by Arcade Fire

"Ready to Start" by Arcade Fire

"We Used To Wait" by Arcade Fire

Home of the Television Shows

I watch television a lot. Maybe too much. What can I say? It excites and intrigues me. Plus it gives me an escape from real life. I watch a lot of television shows. I realized the other day that my DVR is always filled with shows I watch. So today I've decided to write about that. This is a breakdown of the shows I watch, starting with my favorite:

Psych- Psych is a show about a guy who pretends to be a psychic and helps out the Santa Barbara Police Department. It's not your typical cop show. Instead of focusing on the drama of everything happening they make light of it. The show focuses on Shawn and Gus, Shawn being the "psychic", and their unconventional way of solving crimes. It's clever, witty, and histerical. It airs on USA if you wish to check it out. I own all of the seasons on DVD so far. It's a great show that is truly under appreciated. It's one of the best shows that no one's watching and I think that plays a part in why I love so much.

The Office- Very, very funny. I love this show so much I went as Dwight for Halloween. Steve Carrell is hilarious. Anything he touches turns to gold. It's a shame that he'll be leaving after this season. The show will try to go on with a new boss, but I can already tell that it just won't be the same without Michael Scott in Scranton. Also, as I mentioned in an earlier blog post, Will Ferrell will be joining the cast for a few episodes. That i am looking forward to very much.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia- The creators of this show are truly messed up. They have done things in this show that I never thought I'd see on TV. The best character in this show is Charlie. There is no "Sunny" without Charlie. I honestly believe that he will be in many comedy movies in the years to come. He was in "Going the Distance" and he far out-shined stars Justin Long and Drew Idontcareanymore as I like to call her. Adding Danny DeVito in season 2 only added to the craziness of the show.

White Collar- Also airing on USA, "White Collar" is about a guy who is a former conman now helping out the FBI to catch other conmen. It's funny in it's own right. It doesn't try to force the funny on you, which is a good thing. It's a clever and slick show that has some great storylines.

King of Queens- I know that this show is done, but as long TBS continues showing reruns I will continue to watch. This show was a very funny sitcom that not a lot of people talk about. The show ran during the same period that "Seinfeld" and "Friends" were on. So it got overshadowed which is too bad. You compare this to the sitcoms that are on CBS right now and it is far better then all of them save for "How I Met Your Mother" which is very funny.

Other Favorite Shows:
"Jeopardy"
"American Idol"
"Community"
"Tosh.0"
"Chuck"
"Hawaii Five-O"
"Modern Family"

I'm not going to write anymore today. Have a great Friday and be sure to stop back again. Goodbye.


What I'm Listening To:

"Strings" by Young the Giant

Home of the Resignation

In a stunning move, Utah Jazz head coach Jerry Sloan has resigned. Reports are saying he is stepping down because of an on-going dispute with star point guard Deron Williams. Sloan had been the head coach of the Jazz for 23 years and was with the organization since the early 80s. The team, while not great, is having a good season. So is the dispute with Williams that bad that Sloan has no option to walk away from the team? Reports are saying that the two almost came to blows at halftime of wednesday's game against the Bulls. This is terrible for the Jazz front office. They already lost Carlos Boozer to free agency last summer and now they're losing their head coach who has been there since before I was born.

To get real Chris Berman on you, it's only fitting that his last game coached came against the Chicago Bulls. Jerry Sloan's number was the first to be retired by the Bulls. He even coached them for a couple of seasons before going to Utah. It's a shame that he'll be stepping down and at 68 he could be done for good. He was a great coach and it's going to be strange not seeing him on the Jazz sideline.


I Love This Album:
The album that I love today is "Cease to Begin" by Band of Horses. I listen to this album when I fall asleep. I listen to it when I wake up. I listen to it here. I listen to it there. I listen to it with a goat. I listen to it in a boat. It is a great album. It has a great mix of slow and fast paced songs. The lead singer's voice is like none other. This band has quickly become one of my favorites in the last year. Their songs have been in Guitar Hero, Fringe, Due Date, Zombie Land, and many more shows and advertisements. And for good reason. Their music is great and goes with whatever mood you may be in. If you haven't heard Band of Horses I would highly, highly recommend doing that very soon.

Look them up, or better yet, just listen to the song below. Have a happy Thursday and I'll see you tomorrow. Goodbye.


What I'm Listening To:

"The General Specific" by Band of Horses.

UPDATE!

I have just learned that Cee Lo Green does a cover version of "No One's Gonna Love You" and it is great! Check it out.

Home of the Super Bowl

I was right. Well, I was wrong, but I was also right. Let me explain, before the Packers-Bears game I said the winner of that game would win the Super Bowl. And I was right. But I also said two weeks ago that the Steelers would win the Super Bowl. So I was wrong. But what I want you to focus on is the fact that I was right. Completely forget that I was wrong.

Some observations I made during the game:

-Christina Aguilera hates America. She messed up the star spangled banner. It's the easiest song to sing, how do so many people mess it up all the time?

-Coca-Cola should stop making commercials for the Super Bowl. They are pointless and they don't make any sense.

-Pepsi Max should continue making commercials for the Super Bowl. They are very funny and I enjoy them a lot.

-E-Trade still rules all the other commercials with the baby commercials. I don't think I'll ever get sick of seeing those. They are clever and hilarious.

-The Black Eyed Peas should not be allowed on television any more. What was that? Fergie sounded like that chick from "Step Brothers" when she was singing "Sweet Child of Mine" with Slash, which I still don't understand how made sense to have Slash make an appearance. It was a mess, they should've just had The Who do it again, atleast they were entertaining.

-At what point did Fox decide it was a good idea to make Joe Buck their number one announcer. He is boring, lazy, ignorant, and just plain idiotic.

-Repeat the previous line but change Joe Buck to Troy Aikman and announcer to commentator.

-The last play by the Steelers was pass interference against the Packers. It should have been first down Pittsburgh with 40 seconds left. I hate it when a Super Bowl ends on a ridiculous call like that. Not saying that Piitsburgh would have won if that call was made, but it was a penalty and it should have been called.

-Finally, that turned out to be a very good game. I only wish the Steelers would have used the chances they were given. Oh well, atleast I can say that my favorite team(Bears) lost to the champs. I'll guess I have that to hang my hat on, and that is the 2010 NFC North Division Champions hat with the Bears logo on it. So the season wasn't a complete loss.

I hope you guys enjoyed your Super Bowl Sunday as much as I did. To Packers fans, congrats. To Bears fans, will get 'em next year. To Vikings fans, wait, I think they're all Packers fans now, nevermind. To Lions fans, I love you and I feel for you, you'll have your time someday, maybe. To fans of every other team in the NFL, I sincerely don't care about you. That is all. Goodbye.


What I'm Listening To:

"The High Road" by Broken Bells:

Home of the Day Off

I recently wrote about how I haven't been sick this winter. That streak is over after I woke up this morning with a cold. So call it a snow day, sick day, or Groundhog Day movie marathon on Encore. I am taking the day off. Enjoy your snow day and stay warm. Goodbye.


What I'm listening to and you should to:

Home of the Town

The other day I watched "The Town". It had that guy from "Good Will Hunting", not Robin Williams or Matt Damon, the other guy who wasn't a very good actor. It also had the guy from "The Hurt Locker", that one guy from "Mad Men", and the chick from "Accepted"(I can't believe I saw that movie). It was a very good movie if I don't say so myself. I am not a huge fan of Ben Affleck. Let me rephrase that, I can't stand Ben Affleck. He's a terrible actor whose best movie is "Dazed and Confused" and I only liked him in that because I didn't know it was him until halfway through the movie. However, I must say this movie may have made me hate him less. He did a very good job, acting and directing, in this movie. I give this movie four stars and a thumbs up for a job well done.

I"m starting a new segment on the blog that I'll do every once in a while. I call it "Quick Hits." In it I will make short observations of various things happening in the news. Let's get started:

Quick Hits:

-Blake Lively(the chick from "Accepted") was named the most desirable woman of 2011. Rachel Bilson was ranked number 83 out 99, that's a travesty.

-PGA Tour rookie Brendan Steele said Tiger Woods "didn't give it everything" in last week's tournament. Very ballsy move there rookie, but I love it.

-Morgan Freeman is being replaced as Alex Cross in the next James Patterson movie.... by Tyler Perry. That's ridiculous.

-Al Davis was voted the number one hated person in sports. Michael Vick was voted number two. I agree.

-Los Angeles is getting closer to putting together a proposal to brign an NFL franchise to the city of angels. They are just in time for the lock-out.


That's all for today. I hope you enjoyed reading. Have a good, warm Tuesday. Goodbye.


What I'm listening to and you should to: